So, here’s some details about the guy that writes the crap on this site.

Name : Brett Cook

Age : 24, born on the 14th October 1982.

Age I act :Sometimes 45, most of the time 12.

Birthplace : Leicester, United Kingdom.

Current Location : I’m currently living in a place called Halewood Village which is in Merseyside, or Liverpool as people like to say. I prefer not to divulge that.

Languages spoken : English, very small bits of French and trying to learn Mandarin Chinese, seen as I live with a Chinese teacher.

Eye Colour : I was once told, Malteaser brown.

Height :5 foot 10.

Hair Colour : Mousey brown?

Handed? : Right.

Occupation : I work for a well-known retail company as a Sales Manager at Liverpool’s John Lennon Airport.

Ambitions : I used to dream of earning my first million by the time I was 30. I’m over half way there and currently have no property and a job that would take me more than my whole life to earn a million. I guess these days I just want to leave a mark on someone’s life so that I know that my time here has meant something.

Attatched? : Not these days.

Education? : I dropped out of my computing course a year and a half before completion with good grades (nothing that I can state, however) but a rather depressed state of mind. I was studying at DeMontfort University but left for personal reasons. I basically just wasn’t enjoying it. When you spend more time at work than at Uni and not because it pays tons that should tell you something, shouldn’t it?

Retail? I thought you were a geek? : Yeh, sounds odd, doesn’t it? I am a geek through and through, I love technology, I read slashdot/The Reg, I tinker with computers and I know the difference between bit/byte, hub/switch and so forth, yet I’m happily working in a retail store that is as far from IT as possible, we sell them old school paper blogs, newspapers they’re called. The reason? I don’t know, I just reallyenjoy working with people, giving people that little bit extra that they weren’t expecting. Whether that be simply pointing out an offer, dropping an elderly ladies shopping off on the way home or driving forty miles to pick up a £3.50 magazine for an drumming enthusiast. I’ve done all of them and more and will hopefully continue to do them. As I recently said to someone, all my customers are first class

But, forever? : No, I’d be daft in thinking I want to work in retail forever. I want to progress up the place I work’s ladder, but I don’t want to be there forever. EPoS is something I’m extremely interested in and continually researching in my spare time. Maybe that is where my career will head ten years down the line, I just don’t know… Watch this space, though. :d

So, you’re a geek? : Yes, I’m proud of it. I’m into computers in a big way, I know techie things, I’m not a fan of social activity. I hate clubbing/drinking/drugs and smoking. I hate being with people that make me feel uncomfortable and with me, that’s a lot. But saying that I’m not damn ugly, I don’t have billions of spots, NHS glasses or a need to go round slagging off Bill Gates and preaching the goodness of Linux and Mozilla Firefox. Though, of course, I do like them.

Words I overuse : Dude, Fuck-off, general expletives. Motor-fucking-way.

Phrases I overuse : How random is that? What THE fuck? And that is why Scousers have a reputation. Well, this is Liverpool. So, are you going to do that, then? Why is this here? Why is the shop such a mess? So, you’ve nothing to do, that means you want me to find you something to do?

First thought when waking up : Shit… It’s late. But I could just hit snooze once more and still catch the bus.

Greatest Achievement : I’d say two things. Having a long, loving relationship with my ex. Even though it didn’t last it was something I never thought I’d ever be able to do. Also, getting to where I am in just over three years of being with the company. It’s been hard work and lots of sacrifices have been made in that time. But I think it’s paid off.

Something I want to do : Move to Canada!

Do I Smoke? : No.

Do I drink? : I would normally say no. But I’ve really started getting into red wine. However, I’ve never been drunk. I found out that my brain naturally stops me as soon as I start getting dizzy.

Do I swear? : No.

Do I sing well? : In the car, yes.

Do I sing in the shower? : I used to, not so much now. Probably because it would wake up the housemates.

Do I talk to myself? : Yes, I’m a good listener.

Do I believe in myself? : Yes. I just don’t like myself for 40% of the time.

Do I play an instrument? : I’m grade 8 at air percussion.

Do I get along with my parents? : Definitely, especially since I’ve moved away from home. My Mum & Martyn have helped me so much and been supportive in times when life has seemed so bleak. I wish I could say I’m close to my real Dad, but I’m not.

Do I get along with my siblings? : Yes, again, more so lately. Chloe has really been close lately, staying up here the other month and being nice to me when the rest of the world wasn’t.

Do I think I’m popular? : I know I’m not and I kinda like it. I hope I’m more “mysterious” and I quite like that. For example, work always seem surprised that I have a life outside of work because I don’t talk about it.

Have I ever been abroad? : Yes, to France (Boulonge/Paris) & Amsterdam.

Have I ever drank alcohol? : Yes, a nice red wine please. I’ve never really drank beer or Vodka or other of that kind. I just don’t like the taste.

Have I ever smoked or got high? : No and I plan to keep it that way.

Have I ever been on stage? : Yes, I used to do the lights for high school plays, I got to go on the stage and look all “techie”

Have I ever gone skinny dipping? : Not really, but I have done things in the sea.

Have I ever been dumped? : Yep, last year. It wasn’t fun.

Have I ever dyed my hair? : No, I like my colour.

Have I ever stolen anything? : A really cool Lego “window” from my primary school as I really wanted to use it at home. I felt so guilty for years.

Have I ever wanted to take your life? : I’ve thought of suicide plenty. I’ve almost done it four times. Twice in the last two months. Alas, I’m not brave enough to do it.

Favourite song : I can’t pick one. Today’s is.. er, Barenaked Ladies - In The Car.

Animal I’d most like to be : Cat. Eat, sleep, eat, sleep, get stroked, get told I’m the cutest thing ever, eat, sleep. What a tough life.

Who would play me in my biopic? : No one, I’m too unique just like everyone else

Pepsi or Coke? : Pepsi if it’s from the soda mix. Coke if it’s from a bottle or can.

McDonald’s or Burger King? : Give me a Whopper anyday.

The last dream? : It was another of those annoyingly boring work related ones.

The last nightmare? : It involved the ex, again.

The last time in a car? : Housemate Ian took me to work on Friday.

The last time I cried? : Last year, very sporadic crying. Before that? God knows. I wish I could cry, though.

The last movie? : Night at the Museum with Crishna.

The last rented movie? : God… er, I don’t remember renting a film.

The last book read? : The two “Ellie Chronicle” books by John Marsden. I must post them back to Crishna.

The last word I spoke? : Thank you, to Tian as she’s just gone to get me a bottle of milk.

The last laugh? : Earlier at Tian trying to speak English whilst tired.

The last phone call? : From my Mum this afternoon.

The last song played? : The Wallflowers - 6th Avenue Heartache. Rocking song.

The last IM recieved? : (21:04:24) Tian Tian: No, Shuo has a nice body.

Do I ever feel lonely? : All the time, yes.

Ever been so hungry you felt like you could eat the person next to you? : Yes, especially after filling this in.

Bush fan? : No. But I don’t do politics.

Any secret fetishes? : Yes, but they wouldn’t be secret if I told you them, would they?

B